Dreaming in Tennessee

Goodbye For Quite A While

2005-09-19T06:11:00.000-07:00

When I started this blog, I was working a 40-hour week (but really closer to 25 if you don't count the downtime), no exercise, & writing pretty casually on my off-time. Now I work when I'm at work, work overtime every week, exercise 2 hours a day, & have a pretty strict writing schedule. I'm also getting out more to see old friends from high school.

I just don't have time for this blog anymore.

That sounds very arrogant. It probably is in a way, but if I really thought anyone was getting a real benefit from hearing me talk, I would keep up with this.

To that end, once I make the move, I plan on re-starting this again to track my struggle in LA & offer any bits of info I can for any other aspiring screenwriters out there. (I'm not saying to check back on me. There's no way I'll be moving any sooner than February & maybe not until June.)

I just want to say thanks for everyone's support with both my writing & weight struggle. I'm going to keep up with both. & I hope to meet several of you when I do get out there.

So, Goodbye and Goodnight from TN.

But Until We Meet Again,

Diana

Weekly Update

2005-09-12T05:29:00.000-07:00

I couldn't post any blogs from home this past weekend bc my DSL went down Thursday & they were supposed to come out Friday to fix it, but they never did. Supposedly, they'll come today to fix it, but we'll see.

Screenwriting: I'm spending every day at work either writing or going back over my research and gathering better info. Because my thriller is based a lot on police work, I really feel like I have to spend time getting that right. I think this is what went wrong with the first time I tried to write it.

Weight Loss: Lost 1 pound. Happy that I didn't gain, but. . . Sometimes I feel like I'm just not meant to be thin. I know, I know. I don't really believe it. I just wish there were an easy excuse.

Height: 5'3"
Weight: 172.5 lbs.
BMI: 30.6 %

A Little Bragging on My Hometown

2005-09-08T11:18:00.000-07:00

Steve McNair (NFL quaterback for the TN Titans), who was born in Mississippi & still has realtives living there, announced Friday that he would be paying for tractor trailers to send supplies to Mississippi, Alabama, & Louisiana & would take donations on Tuesday during a 12 hour span.

Fans' relief response amazing to McNair

Steve McNair hoped to fill six tractor-trailers with supplies for Hurricane Katrina victims in his home state of Mississippi, Louisiana and Alabama.

The Titans quarterback's aim was a little short yesterday.

Tennesseans filed through a parking lot at the Coliseum, answering McNair's request for help by filling six tractor-trailers midway through the 12-hour drive, forcing organizers to call in more trucks.

By the end of the collection at 7 p.m., 20 trailers had been filled, and it was possible that 25 would be filled when they were done packing, said Mike Mu, executive director of the Air Steve McNair Foundation. A minimum of $80,000 in monetary donations was collected, including an anonymous single donation of $50,000.

"I'm amazed," McNair said as he looked around the lot at clothing, shoes, bottled water, diapers and other supplies waiting to be loaded into trucks.

"You have to be amazed because in a short period of time to put something like this together, my hat goes off to the people who came here who went through their closets and supplies and donated some things to send to people who don't have anything."

The foundation teamed with Ozburn Hessey Logistics, which provided the tractor-trailers. A local church provided some of the 100 volunteers, while other companies pitched in food and other supplies.

Several Titans, including Zach Piller, Tony Beckham, Lamont Thompson and Brad Kassell, dropped by to help unload supplies.

—ASSOCIATED PRESS

Only 24 Hours in a Day

2005-09-08T04:30:00.000-07:00

I've been really quiet this week, too. There's a reason for that. Last week, when I found I couldn't be on the net all day, I started writing at my desk instead. Since I've started really exercising again, it's really the only time I can write during the week.

I think I would have time for everything if I didn't also have a day job. But since I do, basically, I've had to choose. Either spend time blogging or spend time writing. I've chosen writing for now.

So if you don't hear from me for a few days in a row, please don't forget me.

Weekly Update

2005-09-03T05:18:00.000-07:00

Frustrating. This week has been incredibly frustrating.

Screenwriting: I haven't had time to do anything this week. I've driven to work in the morning, worked all day & early evening, driven back home, & went to sleep.

Weight Loss: I gained 3 pounds. Why? I'm not sure, but because of the corporate people, I couldn't eat at work. So I had a salad at McDonald's and Wendy's all week. Their respective websites have the net carbs (without croutons) of the salads with dressing at around 9-10. Adding that together + what I ate the rest of the days should not have gone over 20 net carbs. Then why did I gain? Maybe because I never had time to exercise either? But as long as you're under 20 net carbs exercise shouldn't play a part, right? I would appreciate any insight beacuse I have no idea. (Sigh) Anyway, this next week, they're gone & I can start eating my protein-laden foods again. If I don't lose some weight this time, I'm going to be seriously pissed/depressed.

Height: 5'3"
Weight: 173.5
BMI: 30.7%

All Quiet on the Home Front

2005-08-31T16:35:00.000-07:00

This week we've been visited by the big boys from corporate. So we're not allowed to surf the net & I haven't gotten home at a reasonable hour at all this week. I have no idea what's going on in the blog world & it's a little unsettling. I've come to view this scribosphere as a niche for myself while I "slave" away at the day job; so I miss the blogging. They should be gone by Friday & I'll be back as soon as they're out the door. ;)

Weekly Update

2005-08-27T05:28:00.000-07:00

Screenwriting: Done with my short, but I'm not sure if it turned out right. I'm going to not look at it for a couple of days & then see if some major changes need to be made.

Weight Loss: Lost 1 pound. Not great, but expected since I cheated over the weekend & had trouble adjusting to it this week. Today's my mom's birthday & we're having a celebratory cookout with family, so it might be hard to stay on track. :( Uh - oh. I think I just caught myself trying to pre-excuse cheating today, too.

Height: 5'3"
Weight: 170.5 lbs.
BMI: 30.2% (Will I ever move to just overweight? Just. The goals we latch onto when we're obese.)

WOW. Am I Slow or What?

2005-08-26T12:04:00.000-07:00

My blogs were getting a few anon posters & I actually thought they were real. (& getting kind of confused by them. What? You like my blog & now you want to give a link to furniture? Huh?)

Hence, the tee I really should wear most of the time: Brunette & Still Spacey. Can you believe my mom gave me that nickname as a kid? Spacey. Mean? Nope, just Korean. We're incredibly blunt/rude/unknowingly offensive sometimes. In high school, I once told a friend's sister that I loved her hair color even if it did look dyed. She called me "Bitch" behind my back. I told her "I really am" to her face.

Oh, well, time for the word verifcation thingy. Glad someone else figured out how to do this first.

The Best Blog Ever

2005-08-26T06:23:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not talking about Josh Friedman's I Find Your Lack of Faith Disturbing (although it is a great blog, so far).

I'm talking about PostSecret. (I only came across this blog bc of a comment made on John August's post on Dr. Phil & what we would put on our tees. Thank you, Dara.) It's a website dedicated to posting pics of postcards mailed in by anonymous readers who want to share their secrets. The secrets can be, and are, anyone's regret, hope, funny experience, unseen kindness, fantasy, belief, fear, betrayal, erotic desire, feeling, confession, or childhood humiliation. As long as it's true & never been told to anyone, they welcome the secret. Since they can't publish all of the secrets being mailed to them, they're creating a book from them & it should be available by Dec.

I'll be waiting in line for it & I might just send in a secret.

How Can Anyone Watch FoxNews?

2005-08-25T11:12:00.000-07:00

On imdb studio briefing today:

Pat Robertson Says He Was "Misinterpreted" by the Press

Televangelist Pat Robertson on Wednesday charged that the media had "misinterpreted" his televised remarks about Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Appearing on his 700 Club show, which airs on Disney's ABC Family channel, Robertson denied that he had called for Chavez's assassination. "I said our special forces could take him out," Robertson said. "'Take him out' could be a number of things including kidnapping. There are a number of ways of taking out a dictator from power besides killing him. I was misinterpreted." However, a transcript of Robertson's earlier remarks indicates that he had used no such language. "If he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war," he had declared. On his Fox News television show Wednesday, anchor Brit Hume took rival news channel CNN to task for prominently featuring Robertson's remarks, insisting that Robertson's influence had dwindled and that "he may have no clout with the Bush administration." However, at least one blog listed 10 live guest appearances by Robertson on Fox News programs during the past 10 months, a figure that was also mentioned by MSNBC personality Keith Olbermann Wednesday night when he featured Hume as his daily "worst person in the world."

Van Susteren Says Aruba Case Calls Attention To All Missing People

Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren responded Wednesday to criticism of her sustained coverage of the Natalee Holloway missing-person case in Aruba, insisting that it is symptomatic of a larger "epidemic" of missing persons. (She cited no studies to substantiate her claim that the number of missing persons has grown.) Referring to the decision by Bob Costas to refuse to preside over a Larry King Live show on CNN about the Holloway case, Van Susteren remarked: "I am certain he does realize how important it is to investigate missing persons and that he knows of the power of the media in keeping up the search. I bet his decision not to guest host was not meant to insult the many suffering families or law enforcement agencies working around the clock to find them. I will continue to watch Bob Costas... he seems like a nice guy." She also remarked that she realizes "that our competition has slipped considerably, and I also know that the 'oldest trick in the book' is to get ratings or readers by saying 'I would never do that story' since by making that statement or writing an editorial about it, you look 'clean' in your mind."

Brit Hume: One of the biggest idiots getting air time today. If Newlyweds were still on, I think I'd choose Jessica Simpson as closer to genius.

Greta Van Susteren: Just as she's sure that Bob Costas didn't mean "to insult the many suffering families or law enforcement agencies working around the clock to find them," I'm sure that although she's a manipulative bitch, she's not as cunning as she thinks.

Apologies to Everyone I "Talked" to on Monday - Wednesday?

2005-08-25T10:46:00.000-07:00

Today, I'm in a good mood. Realizing that was the first clue that earlier this week I was definitely not in a good mood. Maybe it was the horrible weekend. Maybe it was going off the diet, then coming back on & taking my body a while to adjust again. I really think it was that last part, but, you know, it could've been anything. I am a girl & I consider the ability to reverse my moods an inherent prerogative.

But even saying that, I'm never too much of an asshole to admit when I've been an asshole. I know I was an asshole to Shawna, so I apologized today when re-reading it. But I'm also sorry to anyone else I was curt with, even though I can't recall any more instances at just this second bc I have a problem with reading way too many blogs & really need to cut down on that.

I'm mostly sorry for that last sentence, but since I had to write it, I think you should have to read it. After all, if you don't read this shit bc I am an asshole, why come here at all?

;^)

What We All Have to Look Forward to, I Guess

2005-08-25T08:03:00.000-07:00

Does Hollywood breed/exacerbate oddity?

CNN is reporting that a former Hollywood Producer, Terry Carr, first dumped a box full of personal mementos, then abandoned his wife while she was in a convenience store restroom, and finally suffocated his daughter to death by having a heart attack & falling on her while she was asleep.

WTF?

Why You Shouldn't Rely Solely on Spell-Check

2005-08-24T11:01:00.000-07:00

Michael Moore Checks In at Fat Farm

Maverick film-maker Michael Moore has enrolled on a crash course at a $3,800-a-week celebrity fat farm in a bid to loose weight. The Fahrenheit 9/11 director has booked into the Pritikin Longevity Center And Spa in Aventura, Florida, where he is learning to cook healthy meals and will undergo "life re-education", according to PageSix.com. Moore is reportedly aiming to loose 12 pounds during the first three weeks.

No More Heroes?

2005-08-23T11:57:00.000-07:00

CNN is reporting that :

"A French newspaper says Lance Armstrong used the performance-enhancing drug EPO to help win his first Tour de France in 1999, a report the seven-time Tour winner vehemently denied.

The paper's investigation was based solely on B samples -- the second of two samples used in doping tests. The A samples were used up in 1999 for analysis at the time.

The governing body of world cycling did not begin using a urine test for EPO until 2001. For years, it had been impossible to detect the drug, called erythropoietin, which builds endurance by boosting the production of oxygen-rich red blood cells.

EPO tests on the 1999 B urine samples were not carried out until last year, when scientists performed research on them to fine-tune EPO testing methods, the paper said.

The national anti-doping laboratory in Chatenay-Malabry, which developed the EPO test and analyzed the urine samples in question, said it could not confirm that the positive EPO results were Armstrong's.

It noted that the samples were anonymous, bearing only a a six-digit number to identify the rider, and could not be matched with the name of any one cyclist.

However, L'Equipe said it was able to make the match. It printed photos of what it said were official doping documents. On one side of the page, it showed what it said were the results of EPO tests from anonymous riders used for lab research. On the other, it showed Armstrong's medical certificates, signed by doctors and riders after doping tests -- and bearing the same identifying number printed on the results."

I am disheartened at the thought that this may be true.

Weekly Update

2005-08-22T06:27:00.000-07:00

I went camping this weekend & decided not to bring the scale with me. I thought that I had posted a little note saying I would be away, but since it’s not here I’ll have to conclude that either I dreamt it or I’m just kidding myself.

Screenwriting: I’m almost done with the first draft of my short. I’m debating whether or not to go ahead and post it or wait until I’ve finished the second draft. It’s not really something that could be made into a feature; so I’m not worried about anyone selling it out from under me. The only thing keeping me back is my own pride. I don’t want to put up something that turns out to be garbage. I’ll keep mulling it over.

Weight Loss: Lost 3 lbs this week. Not bad. I’ve been getting up at 5 am & working out for an hour every morning. That probably balanced out the fact that I cheated while camping. Yeah, I know, no cheating while on induction. OK, but at least I admitted to it.

Height: 5’3”
Weight: 171.5
BMI: 30.4%

Weekly Update

2005-08-14T14:05:00.000-07:00

So sorry! I went away for the weekend & I should've posted about it before I left.

Screenwriting: I've completed the index cards & I think I've accounted for every necessary scene. I know it'll prob change during writing, but I like getting as much nailed down as possible. It's probably going to be a pretty short short, but I'm looking forward to it. If I can keep up with the 5 page a day count, I should have it done this coming up weekend. Then I'll take a couple days off it, review, make any changes, & post it. (?)Suprisingly, to me at least, the cards took so long to get organized bc I kept having thoughts about the thriller/mystery. I think intentionally stepping away from it for a while has really helped me. When I'm taking a break from the short, I'll be working on the treatment for the feature &, hopefully, get started on it as soon as the 2nd draft fo the short is complete.

Weight Loss: 0 lbs. Plateau city. BUT I'm not giving up. & I've decided to use my mornings again to work out.

Height: 5'3"
Weight: 174.5 lbs.
BMI: 30.9% (working on it, still working on it)

Earlier Post Now Deleted

2005-08-11T16:32:00.000-07:00

One of the moral rules I try to live my life by is the Newspaper Headline rule. If you wouldn't want what you're doing or about to do put on the front page of your local/national paper, don't. I have added a second rule. If you think someone might be hurt by what you have to say, don't. Jim, not your fault, mine. I'm a big girl & I should know better.

TennScreen

2005-08-11T06:40:00.000-07:00

I attended my first screenwriting group last night. (If you've read prev posts, I said that I would go two weeks ago. The first week I chickened out. The second I forgot. Or maybe I chickened out the second week also, & now I'm just kidding myself. Oh, well. I went last night. That's the important part.) The group is called the Tennessee Screenwriting Association. They're non-profit, staffed by volunteers, and they allow 3 people each week to talk about their scripts. You can choose to read a treatment, have others cold read your script, or just pitch some ideas.

Last night, two went through synopses & a tandem had their first 14 pages cold read. The first synopsis was by the president Bob Giordano. He said he was about 60 pages into his script, but I could tell that he had fully worked out the finer points of his story. He understood all of the character's goals and motivations. & although he opened it up for anyone to pick it apart, not one person could really find a flaw. The next two presents didn't go so well. I won't go into it bc that would be rude, but I bring it up bc this group offers something all writers need: other writers to call bullshit.

So, I'm going to join. It's only $25/yr. & after joining & waiting for my turn, I'll be able to present my own ideas. All I want is someone to call shit, shit, & this group has that kind of truth.

And I Thought Those Geniuses Would Get Away

2005-08-11T06:31:00.000-07:00

The manhunt is over. The Hyatte's were caught in Ohio. It seems they took a cab to try to get away after hearing the van was already known to the police. How could they possibly guess that cab drivers might watch the news? I'm amazed at their resourcefulness.

What the Hell is Going On?

2005-08-10T05:41:00.000-07:00

I read cnn.com at work everyday to keep up, because I generally don't have time for the evening news. Today, an article appeared about young teens playing "The Choking Game." Apparently, they like the sensation of choking themselves until they pass out. (The article doesn't mention the origins of the game, but I'm sure we all know where this came from.) I am deeply concerned about the state of our youth in this country. This game is only the latest in a series of incidents/trends occuring to young teens.

One of my favorite movies of all time is Fight Club. I take a lot of flack from fellow scribes for loving a movie that so obviously violates the "rules" of filmmaking. But my admiration for this movie has nothing whatsoever to do with the twist ending. & I suspect that many teens who were drawn to it would say the same thing. Fight Club is a great movie because it so completely illustrates some of the unspoken truths (themes) that many of us feel at one time or another: we work jobs we hate to buy shit we don't need, our lives are ending one moment at a time, it's not until we lose everything that we are free to do anything, the things we own end up owning us, we are filled with near-life experiences, and we must hurt ourselves to "feel" something, anything.

It is for the last truth that teens play the Choking Game, cut themselves, take dangerous road curves at 55 mph, etc. . . The only way this is going to stop is if we adults stop treating the symptoms & start healing the disease. But, of course, first we have to realize that these games are the symptoms.

Hazzard's Got Nuthin' on Us

2005-08-09T14:21:00.000-07:00

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Well, the ongoing March watch didn't make the national newsline, but thank god for crazy rednecks and their fugitive husbands.

I told my family just a couple of days ago that I was planning on moving out to L.A. sometime next year to pursue a screenwriting career. My father doesn't think it's a good idea. He's afraid something might happen to me there. I think he's right. Maybe I'll move to Kingston/Hendersonville & become a security guard instead.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

2005-08-08T13:58:00.000-07:00

The World's Shortest Personality Test

You are dignified, spiritual, and wise. Always unsatisfied, you constantly try to better yourself. You are also a seeker of knowledge and often buried in books. You tend to be philosophical, looking for the big picture in life. You dream of inner peace for yourself, your friends, and the world. A good friend, you always give of yourself first.

FFF #2: Where Is This Going?

2005-08-08T07:38:00.000-07:00

Purgatorian threw out the 2nd installment of Flash Fiction Friday. I started on it this weekend, excited to have an assigment like back in college. But the more I worked on it, the more unwieldy it became. It's already over 800 wds, I haven't started the second act, and my mind keeps buzzing with more interesting hurdles to put in. In fact, last night I finally decided to turn it into a screenplay. So, here's the beginning of the first act & let me know if you think it's not worth the time.

I put the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door, shut it, locked it, and turned around to find Icky and Taz practically bouncing on their feet.

"Come on, Reese," motioned Icky. "Let’s get this shit started."

"All right, all right," I said while sitting down at Icky’s computer and turning it on. Icky only had a Dell Inspiron, Celeron chip, 2 MB notebook, but it would have to do this time since my computer was confiscated by Sheriff Wiseass two months previously. It wasn’t my fault. It really wasn’t. Icky, Taz, and I have been hacking into Mr. Morganstern’s home computer to change our homework and quiz grades since almost the first week of classes. Not because we didn’t have the brains to get good grades (well, Icky and I do), but because we knew the ugly idiot was too dumb to realize the grades were changed in the first place. If Taz hadn’t tried doing it on his own while Icky and I were at debate practice, we never would’ve been caught at all. But, really, it’s not as if we actually got caught. The time stamping gave us the perfect alibi and no one who knew Taz could believe he would even know how to turn on a computer.

"Icky, what the fuck, man?"

"What?" Icky said, trying to sound all innocent.

"What is this shit on your computer?" I asked, waving my hand in front of his desktop. A picture of a hot tub with a naked Kathy Bates covered his screen.

"EEEGGHH," piped in Taz. "That’s fucking disgusting."

"Come on, you guys. You know that’s my favorite movie, man."

"You’re such a fucking liar," disagreed Taz. "Ever since we fucking watched Misery you’ve had a total boner for that fat fuck. The only reason that shit is your favorite movie is because that fat cunt’s naked in it. It is fucking disgusting, man." It is pretty obvious that Icky's had big one for Kathy Bates since we watched his mom's old tape. Looking over at him during the dinner scene, his lips were barely concealing the drool threatning to slip out. In fact, his whole room was a shrine to Kathy Bates. His walls were plastered with a poster for almost every movie she's in. While the rest of the entire grade school population went to see Waterboy for Adam Sandler's hijinks, he could only talk about what great "scenes" she had.

"You don’t know what you’re talking about, Taz. So why don’t you just shut the hell up?"

"Shutting my fucking mouth won’t make that fucking obsession go away, man. & I fucking told you, call me Tony, T-O-N-Y, Tony. That’s my name."

"Your name’s Joseph Antonio, Taz," said Icky, shaking his head. "Calling yourself Tony doesn’t make you any more Italian than you already are. And spending all your waking hours watching The Sopranos has really warped your brain, idiot. No one in the real world uses "fuck" in every single sentence they utter. You’re a total moron, you know that?" Taz had been Taz since we were 4 and he spent every afternoon running zig-zag around the park like an idiot. Last year, his parents got HBO and he's tried getting everyone he knows to call him Tony since. But he'll always be Taz.

"You're-"

"Shut up, you two," I broke in. "I’m in."

Since Stern "caught" Taz breaking into his computer, he’s taken to using a password on everything. Fortunately, the ugly idiot didn’t realize that anyone who knew his schedule well enough to hack into his computer whenever he wasn’t home would also know he’d use his favorite word as the password, "facetious". ("Isaac, please don't use such a facetious remark in my class." "Joseph, being facetious will get you nowhere." "Reese, facetious is as facetious does.") We couldn’t afford to change any more grades, but we were determined to find something on the guy to make his life hell. After all, he tries to do the same to us.

"So," asked Icky. "you found something?"

"No," I said impatiently. "I just need you to shut up while I’m looking. Standard stuff, really. Nothing much on the hard drive. Uses DSL to get access. Visits the same places every time he’s on. Pays his bills online-"

"Ooh," interrupted Taz. "Let’s use his credit cards to buy some fucking awesome digital equipment."

"Taz," muttered Icky. "We don’t want the cops on us again, man. We just want to play with his head a little."

"I don’t know how much playing we’re going to be able to do, guys. He only keeps a handful of things here. Stern’s pret- Whoa."

"What?" questioned Icky and Taz in unison.

"Jesus Christ," escaped Icky’s parted lips while Taz just sat there slack-jawed. The screen glowed with Stern's personal bank account. The balance seemed to be flashing big, bold numbers: $800,000.

Weekly Update

2005-08-06T05:05:00.000-07:00

Screenwriting: As per previous post of "Starting Over, Again" I'm turning one of my short stories into a short screenplay. I'll be working on that right now. I'm adding a progress bar to the right & I'll start shading it in as soon as I start writing the actual scenes. That may take a while since I plan on taking plenty of time to go over each scene by index card & make sure I know how to lay it all out.

Weight Loss: I only lost 2.5 lbs. this week. Is that normal? To go from losing 10 lbs the 1st week & then only 2.5 lbs the next? (I accidentally started drinking diet pepsi for a few days before I realized I'm not supposed to have caffeine. Was that the problem? I think I'll email Atkins today.) I'm still going to go through with all of the phases anyway. & I've also decided that induction will last as long as it takes to get me down to the "normal" BMI scale, which starts at 140 lbs for me.

Height: 5'3"
Weight: 174.5 lbs.
BMI: 30.9% (yep, still obese, but I'm working on it.)

Starting Over, Again

2005-08-05T05:39:00.000-07:00

I've been discussing my screenplay issues with Greg, my writer friend here in Nashville, & I've decided to take a break from this spec. No, I'm not quitting screenwriting. I think I might be too close to my treatment to look at it subjectively. My actual screenplay has deviated from it & I'm not entirely sure which is the better choice. & it's possible that either I didn't spend enough quality time working on my treatment to make it effective or my lack of ability in actually writing a screenplay is becoming apparent.

To, hopefully, disprove the latter option, I'm going to write a short screenplay. For some time, I've wanted to turn one of my short stories into a short screenplay & I'm going to take the time to do it now. I have no idea how long this will take since my short story is only 6 pages & I'm actually planning on taking it from a different beginning to explain some of the internal struggle of the protagonist. As soon as I'm done with it, I'll register it & post it here.

Innocent Until Proven Guilty (unless you really did it, & I think you did, buddy)

2005-08-04T07:21:00.000-07:00

It didn't make national news, but Nashvillians have been waiting for this for almost 9 years. Perry March was finally arrested. His story was that his homemaker wife decided overnight that she needed a vaction from him and their 2 children, packed her bags, and left without saying goodbye to any friends or family (& phone records show that she spoke with her mother at least 3 times a week). I don't know a single person who ever believed his story.

Police are refusing to reveal if they have new evidence. I hope this makes CourtTV. If it does, I'll be tivoing it every day.

Dave, I Always Knew There Was a Family Resemblence

2005-08-03T14:38:00.000-07:00

Thanks, Purgatorian, for a link to an awesome test.

The 3 Variable Funny Test

Here are my results:

the Cutting Edge
(69% dark, 47% spontaneous, 16% vulgar)
your humor style:CLEAN SPONTANEOUS DARK

Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top.Your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: David Letterman - John Belushi

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 82% on dark
You scored higher than 76% on spontaneous
You scored higher than 5% on vulgar

I'm a CODING Idiot I Said, Not a TOTAL Idiot

2005-08-02T13:55:00.000-07:00

Just 2 minutes ago, I'm looking over the paperwork at my desk & see my mouse moving up & down on my computer all on its own. Now, it's possible that some hacker happened along to my computer while I'm at work or it's also possible some hacker is following along on blogs & noticed that I'm in Accounting. I've also blogged about how I'm a coding idiot. This may have led someone to think that they can hack into this computer & steal all kinds of bank info. No, stupid. If you really knew anything at all about accounting, you would realize that the person who sends out the bills DOES NOT receive the payments. It is a basic accounting rule for any business, large or small. Not to prevent hackers from finding info, but to prevent employees from committing embezzlement. I have ZERO bank info on this computer. I do not have access in any way to a network that allows exchange between my computer and the Accounts Receivable department. In fact, they work on an entirely different network all together.

So, good luck & good day.

Firefox Forum Kicks Ass

2005-08-02T10:40:00.000-07:00

For Firefox viewers, you can now see the website clearly using Firefox. Those guys are amazingly speedy in their replys. That is the one thing above all to appreciate in a company. If they ever decide to try their hands at screenwriting software, I will be the first in line.

BTW, I still have tons of HTML mistakes in my coding, but since it doesn't affect the viewing of the blog I'm not changing anything more. & if you guys ever have trouble viewing it in Firefox again, let me know. (I'm actually going to be trying out Firefox myself & see which I like more, but I may miss something.)

FYI

2005-08-01T11:07:00.000-07:00

It's eom (end of the month) & we have to get all the billing out. Make sure our records are straight. It might be a couple of days before I can get another post up here.

I've gotten a response from Firefox on fixing the code, but, as it listed over 200 problems, I may not be able to get to it anytime soon. Sorry.

Weekly Update

2005-07-30T06:31:00.001-07:00

Screenwriting: I've hit a snag. Actually, I hit the snag Thursday & I was too busy Thursday and Friday to really sit down & think about it. But the weekend's here & I'm giving up some time with my fam to hash this out. I'm not going to post about it specifically yet, not until I find a way out, hopefully.

Weight Loss: I LOST 10 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had heard from a friend that the first week he lost 7 lbs; so I was counting on at least 5. But 10 is really excellent. I have no thoughts of giving up this diet anytime soon. There is a big difference between Atkins & 6 week, however. On Atkins, you have to count your veggies, too. They do have carbs & you are not supposed to go over 20 net carbs in a day (thanks, shawna). So I've been watching my veggie intake, too, & reserving salads for dinner. Also, since I have so far to go, I think I may take induction for at least 2 more weeks (as long as I don't get bored with the regimen).

Height: 5'3"
Weight: 177
BMI: 31.4% (still obese, people. still yuck)

Look at Me! I'm a Gymnast

2005-07-27T06:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Jim from theawfulwriter commented on my harry potter post & mentioned he had blogged about it, too. I reread my two posts & realized something. In all of my blogging, not once did I mention what I loved about the book. So, I kicked my own ass. (you don't have to applaud, jeez)

Top 10 scenes/subplots I loved from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: (in book order)

1. Narcissa & Bellatrix's scene at Spinner's End - Rowling had already portrayed Bellatrix as one of the most ruthless Death Eaters. Someone who could delight in killing her own cousin. But here she is, surprised at the depth Narcissa would sink to protect her only child. It's a complete understanding of full-bodied characters and plays out well in supporting the whole plot of the story.

2. The 4th book did an awesome job at the end where Moody, Lupin, & Arthur gathered around the Dursleys & "warn" them to treat Harry better, but thank goodness Rowling had Dumbledore simultaneously chide them for their treatment of Harry and Dudley. He wasn't overly threatning/accusatory, just honest. That blanket honesty made them actually think about what they had done. Wonderful.

3. Tonks and Lupin falling in love. Lupin deserved to find someone. Period.

4. U-No-Poo. 'nough said.

5. McGonagall letting Neville know his grandmother failed her Charms O.W.L.

6. Dobby and Kreacher fighting over Harry. You knew it had to happen. & Dobby got in the last punch!

7. Draco confiding to Moaning Myrtle. The scenes involving Draco have shown him as spoiled, selfish, cruel, terrified, or envious. Never have we seen him vulnerable.

8. Hermione continuing to look for any way to make the Half-Blood Prince female, even though she thinks the Prince may be a bad wizard. & if a woman would run for president, I would vote for her, even if she were a republican.

9. "I am not worried, Harry". . . "I am with you."

10. "No, Draco,". . . "it is my mercy, and not yours, that matters now."

& there were many more. There's a reason they printed over 10 million copies of just this last book.

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire II

2005-07-24T07:18:00.000-07:00

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire, Part Deux
Pants on Fire: The Ending
Pants on Fire Ends
My Pants Are on Fire Again
My Pants Are Still Burning
(Wow, I don't care how you word it, sequel titles sound like shit. Or am I just randy?)

Oh, well, on to the real blog:

Note: This is not the standard disclaimer. While I am not yet a paid writer, this is good advice. If you don't take it, ok. (shrugs) I'm not your Mommy. & if you do take the advice & still produce crap, don't blame me. You put the ink to paper.

I just said on Saturday that I wouldn't be giving out any screenwriting advice on here. Yet, here I am, barely 24 hours later, pounding out writing advice to anyone who'll listen. Sure, it's general writing advice, but come on. I don't comment on "general" writing blogs, so this advice is directed towards the screenwriting side of the scribosphere & you should all know it.

On Saturday, after that post, I read John Donald Carlucci's blog about a problem with his RomCom. He's writing it, pretty much, based on a true-life event & it's not working. He asked for advice from those who have been there & I put my ha'penny in.

When it comes to poetry or short-stories (cannot say for sure on screenplays as I haven't tried it yet, but I assume so), I never write well about a subject that is too close, timewise, or taken directly from my life. Unless I change something about it. (I'm ging to use my previous poetry posts on here as examples; you might want to read them if you're actully going to read about them. The 1st is under the post "Will They Ever Learn?" and the others are under "The Rat's Star." If you've read the other posts, you know I am a coding idot & have no idea how to create links to different parts of a page.)

-----------------------------------------------

"Terrorists: Beware" - This was written just after I read about the second wave of attacks in London last Thursday. The message is stated too obviously to be moving & my multiple slaps to your face only numbs the experience. Note: I will rewrite this after I have gained a bit of emotional distance. & I have a feeling it will work better as an iambic pentameter, but, man, I suck at rhyming.

-----------------------------------------------

"barely breathing" - This was originally written exactly as it happened, right after it happened. Here it is, for your reading horror:

That's Life, Death, Me

The seaside is very calming
When looked at and listened to
Inside of a quiet car.
My father, the macho, vulnerable
Man that he is, is driving
On the beautiful ocean road.
My mother is sitting in the
Passenger seat, squeezing his hand.
Behind her, my younger sister
sits singing to the radio,
Briefly forgetting what is to come.

I guess that's life.

We're there.
Here we are.
All peaceful.
Quiet.
Just seeing my grandfather at the morgue.

We tread in through the glass door.
Glass is always so fragile.
What could be better than a warm
Greeting by a nice, tall lady.
She should really dye her hair again.
The roots are showing.
Yes, of course, everyone is going to see
The body.
A separate viewing room is always
Nice.

We parade into the small,
Dark viewing room.
Peering through the thick glass,
We see my dead grandfather.
Too bad he wasn't yet emblamed.
The cold, bluish haze before me
Did nothing. To the disturbance. To me.

Guess that's death.

Weeping is an awful sound.
I turn to my living family.
Seeing tear-strained faces
Openly uncontrolled
Is even worse.
My father is a blur of tears.
My mother is a blur of tears.
My sisters are a blur of tears.
I turn back to the glass mirror.
I am nothing.

That's me.

Surprising, no? (& creepy, too, yes?) The two seem to have nothing in common. Yet, a year later, I reread the original & started to write this poem.

in my dreams

in my dreams,
i walk to your gravesite.
i stand there, waiting,
wishing, hoping, to feel
something, but i cannot.
i know you are not there.

I changed it, allowing myself to imagine what it would've been like if I had been there. But that change wasn't enough. I could not make myself go on. Stumped, I reread what I had just written & realized it sounded like a love poem. No, I thought, it would sound better as a love poem. Here is the 3rd version.

wherever you are

i walked to your gravesite tonight.
i saw the pale-face moon
as he darted behind a sunken cloud
to get away from my scowl.
he had no right to be there.

i stood for the longest time,
covered by the shadows of the night.
knowing you couldn't see me. or feel me.
knowing it was just a hole where your ashes
resided. knowing you weren't really there.

so i stood.

and wondered why.
why i was staring down at a grey marker,
scratched with oh, so endearing words.
why your ashes were imprisoned in stone,
when they could have been cast into the wind
to whisper forever among the chorusing birds
and comforting willow trees.
telling them of our secrets.
telling them of the time when we lay
in your parents' bed and you held
me so tightly i could barely breathe,
and, as i pressed my body next to yours,
you carefully caressed my cheek with your chin.

but soon i felt the steady teardrops
of rain, bringing me back from my safe memories.
and i knew it was my turn, this time,
to leave.

so i came back here.
to our sky-blue room.
kneeling beside our bed,
encased with sheets crying out
for a wash and knowing it's not coming.
talking to you now,
wherever you are.

i just want you to know that i miss
you.

i miss you.

The nature of the relationship, the exact circumstances (my grandpa was buried, not cremated), & the outcome are all "lies." Yet, these changes allow me to express my true feelings of loss more completely than the "absolute truth" ever could have. Note: Even if you don't like the final version, you must admit it is better that the 1st. Must, I say!

-----------------------------------------------

"He Is" - The final version is actually the only version. While in college, I gave it to an evangelical friend of mine studying to be a foreign missionary &, when she looked up with tears, I decided never to change it. Then how does this conform to my advice? I'm an atheiest/agnostic, as I was when I wrote it. (I've gone back and forth, coming to the conclusion that I don't really care.) This poem came from a poetry class where the assignment was to write after reading another peom in our books. Every time I tried to write a poem from one that had moved me, I couldn't. The experience was too fresh for me. & I felt like even an "homage" was not better than the original, so why do it? Then I read Sexton's poem, felt mostly "of course, that's how I would feel" & asked myself what here friend would have written back. That's the heart of the poem, the friend's POV, not mine.

-----------------------------------------------

"denial" - There was only one rewrite on this one, but the final is very much like the original. The POV is mine. It is from a "love" relationship. They were both friends of mine. They did get married. I wrote it only 6 months after the wedding. The difference? I never went. I was invited, yes, but woke up too late & missed it. (It was at 2 pm. My normal wake-up time was around 7 am at that point in my life. The night before I had been drinking with friends, got back in the very early morning, and somehow forgot to set my alarm. - hmmm) Anyway, here is the 1st version.

i laughed

i laughed.

i laughed when i saw
how crazy you two
were acting, how you
shoved the first piece
of the cake
into each other's
light-filled faces.
how you chased
one another around
the room pretending
you didn't want
to be near each other.

i smiled.

i smiled when i saw
you dancing the waltz
together. the dance you
had decided you
would take lessons
for this occasion,
when you know you
have two left feet.
and when you kissed
so gently and stared
deep, deep
into each other's eyes
knowing you were
within reach of forever.

i cried.

i cried when i came home
and saw a faded
picture of us, holding
hands and smiling
because we were
together.

i cried.

I think you can tell it was still too close. Luckily, I wrote this one too for a poetry class & I happened to get a great teacher, with some awesome notes.

If you can write your own true-life event already (without sacrificing "emotional truth" for "absolute truth"), more power to you. If you can't, change something. POV, circumstances, outcome, actual reltionship, characteristics of the pro/antagonist, etc. . . It doesn't matter. Just change something.

& if that doesn't work, change something else.

Comments, Visitors, Links? WTF? Am I Just Rambling?

2005-07-23T10:55:00.000-07:00

Hey, my first blogger comment. I can't believe it. Thanks, moviequill.

Cojones refuses to comment. She says there are too many horrible bloggers out there already & commenting on even a decent blog encourages the bad ones. (I'm pretty sure I shouldn't take this as an insult, but you never know with Cojones.)

Anyway, I know I've had other visitors bc of the counter, but I still pretty much feel like I'm talking to myself on this blog. & that's ok. I'm not not going to be offering anyone advice on screenwriting; anything I could say would be just a regurgitation of what I read on other sites, written by people who are actually have a career in screenwriting or are about to. (& if you don't know where they are, click on a link.)

Also, I do read many more blogs than I have links to, I just can't decide who to link & who not to. I don't comment very often, compared to how many I read. Maybe I should link to the ones I check every day? But if you're reading my blog, I'm sure you came from somewhere along the scribosphere & already know the blogs you love. I think I'll leave it where it is.

Shit, I just previewed this crap & came up with that title. I hate rambling.

The Rat's Star

2005-07-23T06:30:00.000-07:00

So, I got spanked three times yesterday. It should've been four, but generic hasn't kicked my ass yet for that comment I made. After the third spank, I cut over to her blog, looking for something funny, & (I think bc of my expectations) I felt like I was reading something out of "The Employee Handbook, Chapter 7: Rules for a Politically Correct Conference Meeting." (http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=12199804&postID=112199882972220891 )

The first spanking was on "The Blank Page" by Derek (http://www.theblankpage.us/archives/2005/07/sources_for_dom.html#comments), & I understand his point and agree on a level. But while a constant dreamer on the inside, I am a total pragmatist to everyone else. I think if I hope too much, it's just that much harder when you fall. Depressing, huh? Ok, I'll stop.

The second time was from David (http://www.davidanaxagoras.com/2005/07/21/my-procrastinatin-ways/#comments) & this is the only time I actually disagree. I felt like Debra on Everybody Loves Raymond in the episode where Ray tells her "Well, don't feel that way." Can't help it. I just do.

The third came from the only person who knows both me, personally, & this site. My friend from college, I'll call her Cojones (that was her sign on for the school email/system; first initial, second initial, last name; laughed my ass off when I found out about it, & had to explain it to her when I realized she never took Spanish), didn't like "Terrorists: Beware." Cojones (shit, that's just funny & suits her, too) doesn't think it's my best work & worries that other writers will think I'm a hack. (I have to say I completely agree on this one. I absolutely do not do well when I'm too close, timewise, to a precipitating event.) She wants me to hurry up & fix the fiction links so she can read some of the stuff I've written since then. (When I have more time, assuming I can figure it out, I'll set up the side to open a new page.) Cojones, hope you like them better than "Terrorists: Beware."

Note: In case anyone wants to know, the title is from Anne Sexton's "With Mercy for the Greedy." http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/annesexton/642

In order from when they were first written:

barely breathing

i came back here
to our sky-blue room
to kneel beside our bed,
encased with sheets crying out
for a wash and knowing
it’s not coming.

i walked there tonight
and saw the pale-faced moon
as he darted behind a sunken cloud
to get away from my scowl.
he had no right to be there.

covered by the shadows of the night,
i stood there for the longest time
and wondered why.

why i was staring down
at a grey marker, scratched
with oh, so endearing words.
why your ashes were buried
behind a layers and layers of stone,
when they could have been cast
into the wind to whisper forever
among the chorusing birds
and comforting willow trees,
telling them all of our secrets.
telling them of the time
when we lay in your parent’s bed
and you held me so tightly i could
barely breathe.

He Is
in response to Anne Sexton’s “With mercy for the Greedy”

dearest anne,
in your crumpled-up,
water-dryed letter
to me, your scribbled
scratches tell me
of you knowledge
of your sins.
and your needs.
and what you
are seeking
is belief,
and mercy.
and how your poems
are your refuge,
the vaseline
on your bloody
cuts and bruises.

my love,
don’t you know
that is Who and What
He IS.
He is the One
Who is Knowledge (the wise friend
whose eyes tell of listening with the heart
and speaking from the soul),
Need (the water that quenches our thirst
when we have just come back
from running the race
and walking the walk),
Belief (the faith, the faith that is bestowed
upon us with grace from above;
like the sun’s healing warmth
after a day of cold rain),
and Mercy (a blanket
for all of the greedy and homeless),
including you, love.
you, too.

you tell me of how you wore
my own cross, my dog bitten cross,
around your throat,
instead of around your heart.
perhaps that was the mistake.
perhaps you need your own cross,
your own worn and scratched cross.
so that you can hold onto it
around your heart,
where it was always meant to be.
if that is your need,
He will provide.
and I will be here,
shoulder-ready.
a friend for when you need
me, and when you think
you don’t.
that is Him in me.

denial

returning home
from your white
wonderland, i looked
at our picture on my
bookshelf. the sunlight
reflecting off of it
was glaring into my
eyes, denying me
my sight.

it reminded me
of the way your faces
glowed for each other
while you danced,
holding on so tightly
pressing two into one;
like they were filled
with an inner lamp
dazzling everyone
around you, saturating
the banquet hall
where we feasted
on your requited love.

and there was i,
waiting at the table
in the farthest corner
of the dance floor,
trying to see you.

Weekly Update

2005-07-23T04:55:00.000-07:00

Screenwriting: I've fallen behind, a little. I'm 1 page behind, & I've got another 5 more to do today. Oh, well, not a big deal.

Weight Loss: I gained 1 lb. Now, this is not good. Of course, it might have something to do with using exercise time for writing. But I'm changing my diet anyway; one can only take so many Slim Fast Shakes and Lean Pockets. I'm going with a combo of No Carbo & 6-week Body Makeover. 6-week Body Makeover suggests (basically) 5-6 small meals per day, with no more than 2 oz of lean meat/fish per meal, as many veggies (not including carrots, which are high in sugar) as one wants, & a strict control of how many oz of carbs per day. So, my diet will consist of 4-5 meals per day, 3-4 oz of lean meat/fish per meal & as many veggies as I want. I'm not a big fan of steak or pork anyway, so it's not a big deal to give them up. Carbs (pasta, bread, cereal, yummmm) is a totally different matter. But I'm telling myself 1 week at a time &, if I don't lose any weight, I can quit.

Height: 5'3"
Weight: 187
BMI: 33.1% (obese, people. yuck) http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/bmi/bmi-adult.htm
Size: 16

Which Begs the Two-Part Question: How Many Then's Can One Paragraph Possibly Hold & Do We Really Need Names?

2005-07-22T05:46:00.000-07:00

From Query Letters I Love:

http://queryletters.blogspot.com/2005/07/help-take-bite-out-of-bad-queries.html#comments

"This script is about a vampire that has a brother. Since childhood his brother was always jealous of him. The brother felt their mother gave the older brother more attention then she gave him. They both were in love with a human but she loved the older brother. Before their mother died she gave the older brother a hooded robe were he could go into the sunlight to see his love.

In a rage the younger brother killed the human woman and blamed it on humans. He then tried to turn his grief stricken brother against the humans and get the robe from him so he could rule all vampires. The brother learned the truth of what happened to his love and about his younger brother's plan. Then, he fell in love with another human. He tried to keep her a secret but the younger brother found out and was trying to kill her. He then tricked his younger brother into believing he was going to aid him in the war against the humans but turned on his brother killing him to save the woman he loves and for the human race. He became leader over the vampires."

Now, I know I'm going to be filing this under my growing list of what_to_remember_about_screenplay_writing, but should I put this in the long column of Do's or the even longer column of Don'ts. . .hmmmmm, this is a puzzle.

When Will They Learn?

2005-07-21T10:15:00.000-07:00

There have been 4 more explosions in London today. http://www.cnn.com/

Ridiculous. Heaven forbid, but I am going to paraphrase a scene I remember from "Growing Pains." The scene is in the episode where the Seavers' come home to find that they've been robbed. They have a family meeting in the living room and Carol hypothesizes getting rid of their more expensive material possesions, since that is what burglars want & without them, they would not be robbed again. Jason brings up more and more possessions in question & Carol recommends getting rid of everything. Jason finally asks, "What if they want your security?" Carol responds, "That's silly. No one can steal my feelings." "Exactly," says Jason. "No one can take our sense of security. No one can make us afraid."

(Note: This scene is from the '80's so I am sure that I have not been entirely accurate, but I think you get the gist.)

Terrorists: Beware


You do not have the power.

You have the ability to instill fear of your bombs,
    But you do not have the power to instill fear of you.
You have the ability to drop a package and run,
    But you do not have the power to comfort the wounded.
You have the ability to destroy our buildings,
    But you do not have the power to destroy our peace.
You have the ability to take our bodies,
    But you do not have the power to take our spirits.
You have the ability to cause pain,
    But you do not have the power to heal it.
You have the ability to make us cry,
    But you do not have the power to make us laugh.
You have the ability to hate,
    But you do not have the power to create hatred.

You do not have the power.

http://www.werenotafraid.com/about.html

We are not afraid to ride public transportation.

We are not afraid to walk down a crowded street.

We are not afraid of each other.

We are not afraid to say that terrorism in any form is never the answer.

We’re not afraid is an outlet for the global community to speak out against the acts of terror that have struck London, Madrid, New York, Baghdad, Bazra, Tikkut, Gaza, Tel-Aviv, Afghanistan, Bali, and against the atrocities occurring in cities around the world each and every day. It is a worldwide action for people not willing to be cowed by terrorism and fear mongering.

The historical response to these types of attacks has been a show of deadly force; we believe that there is a better way. We refuse to respond to aggression and hatred in kind. Instead, we who are not afraid will continue to live our lives the best way we know how. We will work, we will play, we will laugh, we will live. We will not waste one moment, nor sacrifice one bit of our freedom, because of fear.

We are not afraid.

Just Bury Your Heads in the Sand, Why Don't Ya

2005-07-20T13:01:00.000-07:00

http://imdb.com/news/sb/2005-07-19/

Few Protests Over Theater Ads, Say Movie Chains
Despite numerous published commentaries of late about how movie theater ads are driving away patrons, exhibitors maintain that they have received few complaints from the public about them and that many moviegoers actually like them. Pam Blase, a spokeswoman for AMC Entertainment, which operates the country's second-largest movie chain, told the Houston Chronicle that the chain receives one complaint for every 600,000 guests. Terrell Falk of Cinemark USA, the nation's third-largest chain, added that recent research concluded that filmgoers regard ads as "just part of the experience." His remarks were echoed by Jim Kozak, editor-in-chief of In Focus, the magazine of the National Association of Theater Owners. "When [patrons] get there early to get a really good seat, they like to have something to keep them busy, something to do besides talk to the person they came with."

Wow, you know, when I get together with some of my girlfriends for lunch, we always agree on how men just don't try hard enough in a relationship. We know that we are doing everything we can to make sure he's happy and loved, but it's the men who just don't care enough to be there for us anymore. & just bc this is coming from a bunch of women doesn't mean you should think it's biased. Oh, no. We certainly wouldn't think/say anything just to make ourselves look good.

(Without the sarcasm) In numerous buz classes at college, we were constantly told that studies have shown less than 1/10 customers will actually complain before taking their buz elsewhere. Wake up, movie chains! "Elsewhere" for moviegoers now means home, especially with DVDs coming out so quickly. Also, who in the world shows up early for a good seat? I always show up 5-10 minutes late just to be sure of skipping the ads.

If I Could Have My Cake & Eat It Too

2005-07-20T11:41:00.000-07:00

!!!!!SPOILERS!!!!!SPOILERS!!!!!SPOILERS!!!!!!

Note: This blog is about what I wish had been done differently in Book 6. Please do not read it if you haven’t completed the 6th book as it may ruin the book for you. Also, to keep other readers from accidentally reading this blog during scrolling, I have purposely changed the font color to fade into the background. In order to read the blog, simply highlight the text.

I am a little disappointed.

Not incredibly disappointed, just a little disappointed. Some of the things that I love the most about the book series previously seem to be missing in this installment.

Disappointment #1. Neville's missing scene. I wish there had been a scene where Neville gets to show better results with his new wand. In Book 1, Ollivander comments that a wizard will never get as great results from another's wand as his own. Since Neville had been using his father's old wand until Book 5, where it gets broken in the fight in the Ministry, I was looking forward to seeing him display some pride with the better results his own wand should show.

Disappointment #2. Lack of humor. I wish there had been more humor. The best thing about the Harry Potter book series was the amount of humor in the smallest of descriptions/phrases. (2 examples, not even the best ones.Book 1, ". . . as they watched a gorilla scratching his head who looked remarkably like Dudley, except that it wasn't blond." Book 3, Ron said during Divination class, "I'd like to see Uranus, too, Lavender.") Rowling's said that Book 6 necessarily took a darker turn bc of Voldemort being out in the open now, but I still think that a lot more humor could have been injected throughout the school year. Especially since everyone I know living in a post-9/11 United States and post-7/7 United Kingdom are still able to find humor on a, somewhat, daily basis. (I hope that doesn't offend anyone.)

Disappointment #3. The beginning. I wish it had started on a regualr Dursley day and we get to "see" when Harry gets Dumbledore's letter. I wanted to be part of the waiting and hoping with him. (I have an ?unethical? fix for this, for me anyway. Read #4)

Disappointment #4. The ending. Not the precipitous moment near the end (if you read the next blog down, you'll know why), but THE ending. I had gotten used to the previous endings in the series and, for me, the Hogwart's Express had come to symbolize the official ending of the Harry Potter series. & the way she has the ending, I have the feeling that Book 7 will not open with Ron & Hermione telling their respective parents that they will be spending the summer at the Dursley's before heading off to find the Horcruxes and, eventually, fight Voldemort. I wanted to be there for that.

So, because of #3 & #4, I wrote my own beginning & ending. For me, it completes the book even without #1 & #2. After reading the book again with my own re-writes, I've found that I'm no longer disappointed. (I question the ethics bc Rowling has said she is not a fan of fanfic. But the changes to the beginning &amp;amp; ending are for me, & me only, so I hope she doesn't mind.)

Theories, Hypotheses, & Wishful Thinking for Book 7

2005-07-20T07:37:00.000-07:00

!!!!!SPOILERS!!!!!SPOILERS!!!!!SPOILERS!!!!!!
Note: This blog is what I think could/may happen in Book 7 &, as such, contains spoilers for previous books through Book 6. Please do not read this if you think my theories, hypotheses, & wishful thinking may ruin Book 7 for you, as I am 99.9% positive on my theories. Also, to keep other readers from accidentally reading this blog during scrolling, I have purposely changed the font color to fade into the background. In order to read the blog, simply highlight the text.

Because some guesswork may seem "obvious" to most people & others will vary from "improbable" to "what-is-she-crazy?", I'm spending less text on the ones that I think everyone suspects will be in the last book.

Theory #1. Wormtail will play a central role in protecting Harry from Voldemort. In Book 3, Dumbledore is pleased that Harry saved Wormtail from dying & says, "Pettigrew owes his life to you. You have sent Voldemort a deputy who is in your debt. . . . When one wizard saves another wizard's life, it creates a certain bond between them. . . and I'm much misstaken if Voldemort wants his servant in the debt of Harry Potter." I think this will come into play while Harry is trying to find and destroy the Horcuxes (rather than at the end while Harry will be battling Voldemort, particulary bc of Theory #3).

Theory #2. Voldemort's use of Harry's blood in Book 4 will be one of the reasons for his death. When Harry tells Dumbledore and Sirius of Voldemort's use of his blood, Rowling notes this text, "For a fleeting moment, Harry thought he saw of gleam of something like triumph in Dumbledore's eyes." While it is possible that the reason for Dumbledore's "triumphant" gleam may have something to do with one of the Horcruxes left, since Dumbledore apparently suspected by the end of Book 2 that Voldemort had created a number of Horcruxes (Book 6 by Dumbledore, "Four years ago, I received what I considered certain proof that Voldemort had split his soul. . .The diary had been a Horcrux."), for Dumbledore to know at that point in Book 4 that one of the Horcruxes would involve the use of his blood is highly unlikely. It is more likely that it will have something to do with a curse/countercurse that will be used at the final meeting.

Theory #3. Dumbledore had another reason for believing in Snape, Snape never betrayed Dumbledore, and Dumbledore's death was planned by Dumbledore. (What?) In Book 6, Snape makes the Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa Black to complete the mission if Draco fails ("And, should it prove necessary. . . if it seems Draco will fail. . . " whispered Narcissa (Snape's hand twitched within hers, but he did not draw away), "wil you carry out the deed that the Dark Lord has ordered Draco to perform?". . . "I will," said Snape.), which meant that Snape would die if it fell to him to finish the mission & he chooses not to (After Harry has overheard Draco's and Snape's conversation about Draco's mission, Harry talks to Ron about it over Christmas at the Burrow. Harry says, "What happens if you break it, then?" "You die," said Ron simply.). Once Harry gets back to Hogwarts, Harry relays the conversation with Dumbledore (Harry says, "Yes, sir. I overheard them during Professor Slughorn's party. . . " Dumbledore listened to Harry's story with an impassive face.) In his reply, Dumbledore ends with, ". . .let me reassure you that you have not told me anything that causes me disquiet." This is particulary important bc at the end of the book, when Dumbledore is facing Draco on the rooftop, he has known about Draco's plan to kill him for some time (Draco says about the necklace and mead, "Yeah, well, you still didn't realize who was behind that stuff, did you?". . . "As a matter of fact, I did. . . I was sure it was you.") Since Dumbledore was sure that it was Draco & the fact that Harry's "revelation" did not surprise or upset him, it is necessary that Dumbledore already knew about Draco's mission from Voldemort and Snape's Unbreakable Curse. Who else would have told him but Snape? From this point on, Dumbledore has 3 choices, 1. Draco could kill him, 2. Snape could choose not to kill Dumbledore if Draco's fails and choose to die himself, 3. Snape could kill Dumbledore. Option #1. Dumbledore didn't want Draco to kill him and he didn't want Draco harmed either. He says, "Killing is not nearly as easy as the innocent believe. . ." and he tried to get Draco to "[c]ome over to the right side." Option #2. This would have been a good plan if Dumbledore was the kind of wizard to think of himself first. But he wasn't. He has always wanted whatever was best for Harry (From Book 5, he says, "I cared about you too much. . .I cared. . . more for your life than the lives that might be lost. . ."). Dumbledore would easily choose whatever option held the best chance for Harry. Therefore, option #3. By allowing, actually I believe ordering/begging Snape to kill him ("Severus. . . please. . ."), Dumbledore achieves his greatest advantage. He tricks Voldemort, and every Death Eater, into truly believing Snape has chosen evil. He allows Voldemort to think that Snape will commit any act, even going up against the only wizard Voldemort has ever truly feared, for the Dark Lord. Dumbledore gives the good side an inside man,someone who can undermine the Dark Lord at every turn, even though they don't know it yet. For those of you still not convinced, consider these 4 points about Snape's behavior. Point #1. At the time that Snape kills Dumbledore, Rowling uses this description, "there was revulsion and hatred etched in the harsh lines of his face." I think the revulsion and hatred is for the act he is about to do. What is also important is that Snape does not say anything back to Dumbledore. He does not gloat about fooling Dumbledore for the last 17 years. Yet, he does gloat to Harry that he is the Half-Blood Prince & Harry did not realize it for less than the year Harry has known about the nickname. Point #2. Snape does not harm Harry and does not allow another Death Eater to harm Harry. Snape chooses to use deflecting spells when he can. Another Death Eater used the Cruciatus curse on Harry and Snape stopped him (. . . excrutiating pain hit Harry. . . he would surely die of this agony. . . "No!" roared Snape's voice. . . "Have you forgotten our orders? Potter belongs to the Dark Lord- we are to leave him!. . .") The Dark Lord's orders are that they are not to kill Harry; Voldemort will deal with him later. I am positive Voldemort did not say, "& be sure not to cause him any pain, either." Point #3. He only gets angry at Harry enough to somewhat hurt him when Harry calls him a coward. (". . .you coward-" "DON'T-" screamed Sanpe, and his face was suddenly demented, inhuman, as though he was in as much pain as the yelping, howling dog stuck in the burning house behind them- "CALL ME COWARD!") "Pain" not anger, not hatred, not defiance, "pain". Point #4. He did not kill Professor Flitwick, Hermione, or Luna when he had the chance & no one could've stopped him. He only stunned Professor Flitwick and asked Hermione & Luna to check on it to keep them out of the way. None of them were expecting an attack from him &, in any case, he could have probably killed all 3 of them even if they had.

Hypothesis #1. Droobles Blowing Gum will be some kind of safety net. In Book 5, at St. Mungo's Neville's mother, Alice, gives Neville an empty Droobles Blowing Gum wrapper and his grandmother remarks that ". . . she must have given you enough of them to paper your bedroom by now. . ." They were described as "highly gifted Aurors" by Neville's grandmother, who is prone to exaggerating, I should point out. But I do believe his mother, even in her present state, would probably be trying to give her son as much protection as possible. Another reason to believe this is that Rowling's own site, www.jkrowling.com, has her virtual desk littered with Droobles Blowing Gum wrappers. (This could simply be because she herself has admitted to loving chewing gum.)

Hypothesis #2. Draco will choose good. I think Draco's inabiity to kill Dumbledore is revealing. But I look to his confessions to Moaning Myrtle about being conflicted in his task as the compelling reason that he will, in the end, choose good. I believe this actually may only come about after Voldemort has killed one or both of his parents. Why? I can't tell you. i can't even explain it to myself. Just a hunch.

Wishful Thought #1. I hope Rowling brings Sirius back. In Book 5, Luna says, "And anyway, it's not as though I'll never see Mum again, is it?. . .You heard them, just behind the veil, didn't you?. . .They were just lurking out of sight, that's all." Please bring Sirius back, even if it's just for one conversation with Harry again.

Wishful Thought #2. I hope Neville and Luna play important roles. For me, both Neville and Luna are within the circle of main characters jsut as much as the rest of the Weasley family, Lupin, and Tonks. I love it when the underdogs have their day to shine. Don't we all?

Wishful Thought #3. Harry and Ginny will get married. (Actually, this is a wishful thought I have had since Book 4. She has the kind of pluck and bravery that seems to suit Harry very well.) Of course, this implies another wishful thought, that Harry will survive his final encounter with Voldemort. I absolutely expect Harry to defeat Voldemort in the end, but that's no guarantee that Harry will survive also.

WHEW!!! What a Week!

2005-07-20T05:49:00.000-07:00

I am officially insane.

No, really, insane. I wait until the week I have to move & the week Book 6 arrives in stores to officially start my screenplay. What the hell was I thinking? People, moving is exhausting. I had to spend 5 hours of my Saturday telling my brothers-in-law what to do & how to set up my room just the way I wanted it. Sheesh, you'd think they could've at least taken the time to read my mind so I could get on with reading Book 6.

On top of this, my workplace has somehow gotten it into their collective head that I should be working while getting paid. What kind of crap is that? I did not sign up for this & if it keeps up, I'm going to have to take my lazy, fat ass somewhere where they appreciate workers who don't actually work. I know I can find a workplace like that if I just look hard enough.

Anyway...Unfortunately bc of that, I did not have time to write at work on either Monday or Tuesday. & today I am continually getting interrupted while trying to complete this blog. GO AWAY, PEOPLE! I have better things to do.

So, in order to keep up with what I promised myself, I have gotten less than 5 hours of sleep every night since Friday. UGH, I need at least 8 1/2 hours to summon the strength to be nice to people. Oh, well, I can always say I have "feminine issues" & then they'll have to leave me alone. (YEAH! "feminine issues" always works!)

So here's a summary of my updates. & I'm going to be posting a few blogs on Book 6 today (as long as I can keep these people off my back).

Updates:

Screenplay - Finished Treatment. It is 27 pgs long. Started on the screenplay Monday night. So far I've completed 13 pgs (3 pgs ahead of schedule, but that's bc of the way the scenes break down. & I may take the liberty of only writing ~2 pgs today.).

Weight Loss - Lost an additional 1.5 lbs. (I weigh in every saturday morning, but bc of the moving & busy week I left my blogging duty until today.) This is a new low for me since I started my diet (about 2 1/2 months ago). I must either be hitting a plateau or my body is so used to the diet & exercise that I'm now going with the norm (1-2 lbs per week). Also, most professionals recommend tracking your relative health by knowing your BMI; so, this Saturday I'm going to start keeping track of my BMI, too.

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

2005-07-13T12:27:00.000-07:00

So, luckily, I work for a company where I have a lot of downtime during the day (usually). Today, instead of writing, I decided to tackle those progress bars again because it was bugging me so much. Turns out, I was just missing one thing. In David's post, he has the code for the border as follows:

.prog-border {
height: 15px;
width: 205px;
background: #fff;
border: 1px solid silver;
margin: 0;
padding: 0;
}

& the code for the bar as follows:

.prog-bar {
height: 11px;
margin: 2px;
padding: 0;
background: #C9DDEC;
}

But I found that I had to add "div" to make it work on this site (I also changed the width & the color for the bar). I placed this into my code right at the end of the "/* Typography :: Sidebar" section. :

div.prog-border {
height: 15px;
width: 150px;
background: #fff;
border: 1px solid silver;
margin: 0; padding: 0;
}
div.prog-bar {
height: 11px;
margin: 2px;
padding: 0;
background: #00F040;
}

Then, once I added David's code to sync the two together in the "!-- Begin #sidebar :: left column :: blog archives, links --> " section, it worked perfectly the way he had it (just changing the #% to refect my "progress").

Obviously, those who are much better at this than I am already knew how to fix my problem. But I thought I'd post it just in case.

Oh, How Naive We Baby Writers Can Be

2005-07-13T06:15:00.000-07:00

Wow, I always knew I was not a computer whiz, but, man, I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to code. I tried to take an hour each of the last couple of nights to sit down & figure out those progress bars, but, alas, I cannot. I'm in the middle of moving back in with my parents this weekend, so I should be able to sit down Sun night & get them on this site.

[FYI, I do have a job & can pay my own bills, but I want to pay off my credit cards by February. I'm estimating at 5 pgs per day, 6 days per week, I can complete a (really horrible) first draft screenplay in 4 weeks, or 1 month. I've also factored in 1 day for a solid workable outline (2 pgs), 5 days for a treatment (~20 pgs), 1 week break before looking at the completed first draft (to create some distance & during which a writer friend of mine is going to read it), 1 week to go over his notes & my own & change my treatment, 3 weeks to write a second draft, and, if it's passes my non-inducing-vomit test, post it here. Timeline of approx. 2 1/2 months. So, hopefully, by February, I'll have 3 specs/writing samples finished to choose from to query around LA. I've heard it's nearly impossible to get an unsolicited screenplay to an agent/producer, but it's the only shot I have from here. Of course, if I'm way off in la-la land & think I'm actually good enough to make the move, I'll gather up my trash bag full of K-mart clothes & take the next bus out.]

Blogging Virgin, Almost (kinda like high school, where it only counts if you mean it)

2005-07-11T13:08:00.000-07:00

Woo-Hoo! Just started blogging on other sites for about a week or two now & so I started this site today. For a variety of reasons, really.

The main reason is that I'm trying to motivate myself into completing my first screenplay. (I know, I know. I sound just like another loser-Hollywood-wannabe who will never even complete 20 pgs of some shitty derivative screenplay. Maybe I am. We'll see, won't we?) So far, the only things I've written have been poems & short stories, mostly during my college days as I tried to figure out what the hell I wanted to do for the rest of my life. (How is anyone supposed to know that at 20? GOD, I considered a day well spent if I managed to get out of bed before noon & attend at least 1 of my 3-4 classes that day. Of course, that might explain why it took me 5 1/2 yrs to graduate.) If I can figure out how to use them, I'm going to steal David Anaxagoras' progress bars tonight, just in case I start to procrastinate. ("Just in case?" Yeah, ok.)

Since I'm a baby writer, I'm also going to use this site to post my work. Feel free to comment/email me on your criticism. Honesty is most appreciated, even if you think I suck. If you're a writer yourself, helpful insight on how to become a better writer is appreciated even more, especially if you think I suck.

So (after I get this thing constructed), take a look around. Hopefully, it's better than going to the dentist. (ok, hopefully, a lot better. maybe more like going to the movies. ooooooooh, maybe like going to a movie premiere, where you can meet and greet with all the A-listers who'll look at you with total derision the minute you say the words "autograph" or "screenplay" & then call security & get your ass thrown out with the rest of the wannabes. ...ok, maybe not.)