Dreaming in Tennessee

Anecdotes, general musings, and registered work from a wannabe.

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Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States

Monday, August 08, 2005

FFF #2: Where Is This Going?

Purgatorian threw out the 2nd installment of Flash Fiction Friday. I started on it this weekend, excited to have an assigment like back in college. But the more I worked on it, the more unwieldy it became. It's already over 800 wds, I haven't started the second act, and my mind keeps buzzing with more interesting hurdles to put in. In fact, last night I finally decided to turn it into a screenplay. So, here's the beginning of the first act & let me know if you think it's not worth the time.

I put the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door, shut it, locked it, and turned around to find Icky and Taz practically bouncing on their feet.

"Come on, Reese," motioned Icky. "Let’s get this shit started."

"All right, all right," I said while sitting down at Icky’s computer and turning it on. Icky only had a Dell Inspiron, Celeron chip, 2 MB notebook, but it would have to do this time since my computer was confiscated by Sheriff Wiseass two months previously. It wasn’t my fault. It really wasn’t. Icky, Taz, and I have been hacking into Mr. Morganstern’s home computer to change our homework and quiz grades since almost the first week of classes. Not because we didn’t have the brains to get good grades (well, Icky and I do), but because we knew the ugly idiot was too dumb to realize the grades were changed in the first place. If Taz hadn’t tried doing it on his own while Icky and I were at debate practice, we never would’ve been caught at all. But, really, it’s not as if we actually got caught. The time stamping gave us the perfect alibi and no one who knew Taz could believe he would even know how to turn on a computer.

"Icky, what the fuck, man?"

"What?" Icky said, trying to sound all innocent.

"What is this shit on your computer?" I asked, waving my hand in front of his desktop. A picture of a hot tub with a naked Kathy Bates covered his screen.

"EEEGGHH," piped in Taz. "That’s fucking disgusting."

"Come on, you guys. You know that’s my favorite movie, man."

"You’re such a fucking liar," disagreed Taz. "Ever since we fucking watched Misery you’ve had a total boner for that fat fuck. The only reason that shit is your favorite movie is because that fat cunt’s naked in it. It is fucking disgusting, man." It is pretty obvious that Icky's had big one for Kathy Bates since we watched his mom's old tape. Looking over at him during the dinner scene, his lips were barely concealing the drool threatning to slip out. In fact, his whole room was a shrine to Kathy Bates. His walls were plastered with a poster for almost every movie she's in. While the rest of the entire grade school population went to see Waterboy for Adam Sandler's hijinks, he could only talk about what great "scenes" she had.

"You don’t know what you’re talking about, Taz. So why don’t you just shut the hell up?"

"Shutting my fucking mouth won’t make that fucking obsession go away, man. & I fucking told you, call me Tony, T-O-N-Y, Tony. That’s my name."

"Your name’s Joseph Antonio, Taz," said Icky, shaking his head. "Calling yourself Tony doesn’t make you any more Italian than you already are. And spending all your waking hours watching The Sopranos has really warped your brain, idiot. No one in the real world uses "fuck" in every single sentence they utter. You’re a total moron, you know that?" Taz had been Taz since we were 4 and he spent every afternoon running zig-zag around the park like an idiot. Last year, his parents got HBO and he's tried getting everyone he knows to call him Tony since. But he'll always be Taz.


"Shut up, you two," I broke in. "I’m in."

Since Stern "caught" Taz breaking into his computer, he’s taken to using a password on everything. Fortunately, the ugly idiot didn’t realize that anyone who knew his schedule well enough to hack into his computer whenever he wasn’t home would also know he’d use his favorite word as the password, "facetious". ("Isaac, please don't use such a facetious remark in my class." "Joseph, being facetious will get you nowhere." "Reese, facetious is as facetious does.") We couldn’t afford to change any more grades, but we were determined to find something on the guy to make his life hell. After all, he tries to do the same to us.

"So," asked Icky. "you found something?"

"No," I said impatiently. "I just need you to shut up while I’m looking. Standard stuff, really. Nothing much on the hard drive. Uses DSL to get access. Visits the same places every time he’s on. Pays his bills online-"

"Ooh," interrupted Taz. "Let’s use his credit cards to buy some fucking awesome digital equipment."

"Taz," muttered Icky. "We don’t want the cops on us again, man. We just want to play with his head a little."

"I don’t know how much playing we’re going to be able to do, guys. He only keeps a handful of things here. Stern’s pret- Whoa."

"What?" questioned Icky and Taz in unison.

"Jesus Christ," escaped Icky’s parted lips while Taz just sat there slack-jawed. The screen glowed with Stern's personal bank account. The balance seemed to be flashing big, bold numbers: $800,000.


Blogger JJ said...

That is a good start, Dreamer. The characters seem well defined and you've got your conflict in motion even before the start of the story.

I would have gone with child porn instead of $800,000 but I really hated my teacher.

Now.... finish it.

8:15 AM  
Blogger gone said...

I like the names a lot. Icky and Taz conjour up some pretty vivid images.

I also would have gone with porn, like a picture of Icky naked or something. Then delving into their relationship and how it all changes, etc.

But having some fun with a teacher's money works for me.

8:38 AM  
Blogger TN_Dreamer said...

you caught me, I went with porn initially. but then I got a great idea about theft & I'm gonna do my best to make it work. Of course, that'll prob come after the thriller/mystery, which is now after the short. jeez, I'd better stop blogging & start writing for real.

8:46 AM  
Blogger Girl With An Alibi said...

Actually I like the money angle better than porn. Cause porn is the first thing you think. I had an instructor in college that said you should alway throw out the first idea cause it's the most obvious. Now my mind wants to know where the teacher got the money and how the kids are going to steal it. Keep writing it's a great start.

8:49 AM  
Blogger TN_Dreamer said...

thanks, alibi girl. & i think your instructor's prob right.

8:59 AM  
Blogger The Moviequill said...

wow, you took the ball and really ran with it... good going

2:20 PM  
Blogger TN_Dreamer said...

hey, thanks, moviequill. I looked all day for yours. But I guess from your posts, you were busy with your actual screenplay? lesson for others, huh?

3:10 PM  
Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I agree with Gw/AA...I thought it was going in the porn direction, then the money angle threw me a bit. It brings more mystery, excellent start!

4:42 PM  
Blogger Brookelina said...

I like the money idea. Very cool. But I'd have added another zero to the account! lol Look forward to the next installment.

5:11 PM  
Blogger TN_Dreamer said...

yeah, thanks, guys. there's a reason it's $800k, but I'll say no more now.

5:36 PM  

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